Warm, Unspoken Certainty.

It was one of the most beautiful quiet moments from a week where days unfolded like domino blocks.

I spoke with elegance, mic in hand, draped in a cotton saree. Grey, checkered with white lines bordered with a shimmering bronze; matched by my long, statement bronze triangular earrings, topped with a tiny pop of pink- of the small bindi on my forehead.

With every name I introduced and welcomed on stage, my mind processed all of this a little more, this new identity; this new feeling and - way of being looked at; as an educator.

It rained outside through a few performances in between and I felt draped into this new identity, a role that needs my voice, presence and perspective in the most human form possible; just the way my heart seeks. 

The rain felt like the backdrop of the audience seated on this terraced amphitheatre.

It washed away remnants of an old identity that took more than it gave, one that always played tug of war with my mind and heart for half a decade.

Back to my student's showcase;

Three hours on stage- It was tiring, I won't lie. It was a noiseless physical fatigue that fell on me like a blanket they couldn't see. I felt it, Prerita felt it too. We looked at each other and had an expression of we did well and now,we really need to breathe. 

Prerita went for her usual break with the others and I was left with my thoughts and minutes of solitude.

I walked towards the left , beyond the ball pool and saw how sunlight filled the entire terrace with a golden glow.

I found an ikea table resting against the glass wall , right outside the ballpool facing the balcony, with the view of a giant dark green tree.

The table was a little high, yet I jumped and sat up in a way where my feet dangled free, I let my soul and heart loose in that quiet solitude.

The balcony had a glass railing , it reflected just my feet. Barefoot.

Brown, tired and full of stories from a myriad of walks. It felt oddly beautiful to look at myself, feet higher from the ground, draped in a stunning two decades old saree.

I was caressed by the most delicate evening sun, hugging every part of me. It gave me energy, threading together every version of me that had been slowly savouring this new identity between each performance that afternoon.

In that grounding terrace, the open space, the ethereal sunset glow, deeply rooted trees ahead of me; every element whispered abundance like it was my only obvious destiny. It was a moment that left me with a warm unspoken certainty, I didn't know what the tangents of my future looked like but I was certain; that it was full of joy, sunlight and resting feet. 

It was a warm- unspoken-

certainty.

~Vajj©