Just, yet.

It was an 11 pm train.

I quickly wore my oversized grey pullover and went downstairs in shorts. White with pastel blue foxes on it.

Oiled hair and all.

To just drop her till the cab.

When the cab arrived, I just felt like going with, till the railway station.

Got into the car in my homeless clothes. 

Opened the window 

Blasting her favourite song. A very inspiring song.

Chattan- acoustic version.

The cold air sprinting towards me like all the victories she's won 

The window is entirely open, the sky is deep blue, and one shining star 

Feels like a metaphor for the days ahead, when she will be titled a grandmaster 

There is so much love hidden in such spontaneous decisions.

Yet there was so much sibling banter at that very moment, coexisting with this love.

The way mom broke into a smile that jumped to become happy laughter, she squeezed my cheeks and kissed her fingers when I plonked myself onto the car seat. It was a beautiful laughter that ended with ~it made me so happy that you decided to come along.

The train is waiting, we are nearing the station, I am playing her favourite songs and dil se, there is one wish settling in my heart. I wish the destination wouldn't arrive, just yet.

Cut to that AC train, we spotted their seats and tucked in the luggage.

I was observing a whole compartment of people familiar with each other. It was one big Tamil brahmin family. Not the orthodox types. The upper middle class has most members settled in the US type. There was a guy who resembled that Anand sir from Byjus. As if time had crawled back and made me cross paths with his teenage self.

There was one Muslim grandpa. He turned that entire seat into an ittar factory. If I were my sister, l would be cursing mentally because of the headache this strong smell would gift me.

One girl, seemingly tom boyish, short hair, sporty and quip. It felt like a compartment they’d describe in books.

They all looked well dressed.

And I was assuming I looked homeless as fuck because I walked down to just drop them till the car, but got in giving into spontaneity.

I looked at myself in the mirror placed right between the seats facing each other.

I had my hoodie on, a braid that had gone messy. A good, attractive messy. Brown skin that was glowing for some apparent reason. Oh, the crying all day. And eyes that held hunger for encounters.

I looked beautiful. Simple but something about me felt attractive. Interesting. Like an inviting story. I would want to talk to myself if I was a stranger who I crossed paths with.

There were ten minutes for the train to leave, we talked about things random, reminders, and the ripple of take-cares from my mother.

They got into the train, four minutes before the scheduled time 

And just to recreate the moment she gave me, I said bye. I said bye-walking. I said bye running along with the train. I told bye in LOUD tones, spilling love and maybe a little deliberate embarrassment xD 

She was smiling, that genuine filterless smile that spoke to me. It said what a fucking idiot my elder sister is. But cute idiot.

I prayed for strength so that she could conquer every battle on board.

Hearts full, arm interlocked with dad's; we walked out and booked an Uber auto.

The auto got booked also, and suddenly I wanted to experience that ~sitting in a cab, blasting music while there's wind in my hair~ feeling.

So I cancelled the auto that just got booked.

And tried for a cab 

No luck this time 

I had to book an auto again because of ~uber cab is currently unavailable.

Dad kept scolding saying I'll get a cancellation fee, I kept denying it because the last three times; I've cancelled and not gotten a charge.

The auto arrived and I did a thing 

This time,  I played dad's favourite music.

It felt like a new love language I just discovered.

Playing their favourite song and listening to their smile. A smile that carries memories, how much that song means to them, and humming. 

I played 80's Kannada songs.

We reached home in just two songs.

When I saw the fare, it included that twenty rupees fine.

Dad looked at me like I fucking told you, I smiled sheepishly still justifying that haven't paid the fine the last three times.

And the moment we got down, the auto driver called us out and said something really beautiful.

He said I felt so happy meeting you both. Lovely father and daughter; listening to old songs.

I felt so beautiful.

I smiled back at him, in a warm silence.

Three steps after turning around, I felt like thanking him.

I ran back towards the auto and told him that I often compliment strangers who radiate goodness and it felt beautiful to be the one receiving.

We were happy, my father and I.

And I was like; see, that twenty rupee cancellation fee was worth it. It was written that we cross paths with THIS auto driver and no one else.

Dad had his OG smile.

I had been hinting on him buying me ice cream since dinner itself.

And when I reached our gate, I randomly blabbered come let's get ice cream, knowing very well that the place nearby is closed 

And then I only answered my question saying never mind, it will be closed 

And then dad went, come.

Go get helmet 

I was like what, Richie rich??

One of the very few ice cream places in Malleshwaram that are open at midnight.

He's like get the helmet

And I ran upstairs feeling joy.

I took a hot Vada pav and a big swirl of vanilla ice cream.

It hit different. 

To sit with the blurry street lights, sharp stars in that deep blue sky, feeling the Christmas air. 

My Christmas plans had been cancelled brutally but life gave me a moment that left me with a little love 

From family, from strangers.

And I sat back on the gaadi with half-eaten ice cream, feeling the cold air.

I looked in the rearview mirror, and I saw those eyes again. Eyes that held a hunger for encounters. 

Eyes that made me fall in love with myself, a little more than I felt in the morning.

We headed home.

My home, driving me home.

I had been too far away for long, and tonight felt like a crawl towards family love.

And on this journey too, I had just had one wish settling in my heart; I wished the destination wouldn't arrive, just yet.

~Vajj©

PS. My sister called me, after a night's journey and she told me that the tom-boyish girl that I just described above, was a proud soldier in the Army. She was Lieutenant Jyothi, posted in the Rajput regiment of Rajasthan. I told you it was a compartment they'd describe in books and I feel greatful to have noticed the details of what makes a writer, one.

Picture credits : Pinterest